I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
