I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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