I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
