I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
