He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
