dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
