what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
