I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
