in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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