i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
