Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize