in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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