I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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