Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
