I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize