I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
