whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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