i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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