Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize