I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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