i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize