It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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