i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
