my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
