Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
