I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
