Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's shark week go big or go home
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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