fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
