Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
