I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
