I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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