her vagine was all disorganized.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
