Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
