I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
