idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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