So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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