I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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