i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
