My Higher Power is John Stamos
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
