I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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