her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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