just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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