i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
