Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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