Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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