All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
