at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is her dick bigger than yours?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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