we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
