i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
