WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
