Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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