she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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