youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
