he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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