Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
