Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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