You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
