You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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