I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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