What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
