All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
