she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
