i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
