i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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