honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize