Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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