we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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