she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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