apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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