PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
