i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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