His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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