so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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