the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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