so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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