I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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