you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
where are my eyebrows?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
