i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
