Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You can't special order awesome
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
