When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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