Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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