we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize