She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
